Monday, June 10, 2013

Guess I forgot to blog!

Facebook Friends know all this stuff already.

Looked back and realized I haven't added any updates for quite a while. There's a few new things, some progress on mi esposo's Honey-Do list (Hah! I just accidently typed Hiney-Do and I cracked myself up!), and a bit of scary excitement.

I'm back in Arizona, too hot in Mexico already. Ron's still there, because he has a boat.

I rescued two gentlemen cats from the Humane Society. They were in adjacent cages there, figured they knew each other. No history came with them, just separately surrendered. Luther is 2-ish, a 20 pound Russian Blue who eats like he'll never get another meal. Food aggression issues, but he likes to snuggle.

Luther

Malcolm is 1.5 years, smaller, very timid but vocal, loves being petted but not held. Doesn't eat much, but then with Luther's feeding sound effects, I wouldn't either.

Malcolm
They both shed horribly, are error-free with the litterbox, and keep me hopping because of THE CLAWS. I've ordered Soft-Claws, glue on plastic nail caps that sound awful to actually apply.

I live in fear that my leather sofa and chair will be terminally shredded. Using squirt guns helps, as does the scratching post (catnip spray-on was extra) and lots of toys. I tire them out evenings with "The Red Dot" games, hoping they'll sleep all night.
Yes, I put handles on them.


My bedroom and bathroom are now blue.


There are black bears in Show Low, AZ. They like the suet and hummingbird feeders. One big guy (400+ pounds) came right up on my deck, hopped up on the railing, and snatched my suet feeder. I was on the couch watching TV right in front of the glass door. It felt like an earthquake when he got on the deck, the whole mobile home shook. They got him a few days later, darted him and relocated him. But he had come back twice in the interim. I began taking all the feeders inside every night and putting them back out in the morning. However, the other morning another one visited my deck at 9 AM, broad daylight.
Bear on railing. (Re-enactment, as I was too busy shitting myself to think of the camera.)

That's mostly what's new or different. Having lazy days here in Show Low, lots of naps and shopping. It's what I do now. I do miss my beach and my ATV and mi amigas!
(photo by Jan Knickelbein)

8/7/13 UPDATE! Malcolm was returned to the shelter. He had such severe stranger anxiety, I couldn't have anyone but me here or he'd starve to death under the futon. He needs a hermit that never has visitors. And he bit me (badly) during one of his "OMG! A voice in the living room!!!" freak-out episodes while I was trying to put him in his room. I felt like such a failure.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Dear Prudence

OCD or Just Cautious?


It's become routine lately for friends and family to label me "OCD", and I haven't disputed that label. Until today. I googled the term, and I do not have that.

At first I bought into one or two of OCD's related disorders: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder was looking apt except for the obsessive cleaning part, moral black-and-white part, and hoarding. I only hoard shoes. General Anxiety Disorder? Maybe re: spiders and scorpions, but that's just a common phobia that tons of people have.

Tarantula on the futon


The reasons my friends and family call me OCD doubtless are due to my long-standing pessimistic nature and need to avoid or pre-manage undesirable outcomes. A whole lot of nasty bad shit has happened to me in my life, and I believe pessimism is called for. Someone very close to me is fond of quoting "The Five P's" (Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance) but incongruously calls me OCD and ridicules me for it. I think those five P's is nearly exactly what it is I do.



Is my glass half-empty? You're damn right it is, because checking for that in a timely manner avoids running out of gin. Or Pepsodent, or propane. (I did worry when I saw 4 tubes of Pepsodent in the bathroom drawer, but then remembered happily finding them at a Dollar Tree one day. WalMart quit carrying it.)

I also believe my pessimism looks much more dire when in close contact with those around me: free-spirited hippie types, What-Me-Worry?-ers, two or three with ADD, and Maynard G. Krebbs himself.



OCD Symptoms (examples)

  • Fears re: contamination (germs, dirt). Are you kidding me? I don't even do the dishes til I run out of something, AND I'm a smoker and I have two cats and a dog that sleep with me.
  • Fear of impulsively becoming violent. No, although I'm becoming more successful at venting...
  • Fear of harming others through negligence. No
  • Perfectionism. And this also relates to hoarders, it seems. I've lately come to accept, even embrace my flaws. I do have a need to leave the gas pump on an even number, though...
  • Religious obsessions. Not hardly.
  • Repetition. No. But I've always done this one thing that I've never confessed to anyone before. I finger-write. Example, I see a billboard while driving. I'll then be unconsciously forming the letters against my thigh or car seat "I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t F-r-e-e", probably for miles. I googled that and nothing came up.

I'm cautious. Prudent. Wary. Suspicious and mistrustful of proven or potential pitfalls. I am NOT eager to let the chips fall where they may, or Que Sera. If I can control (to some extent) my forward path, I'm going to do it. My trust must be earned. I will check.