Put It In Writing! Notarize It! Copies To Everyone!

I'm all up in arms over a story playing out in Minnesota this week. There's an 85 year old man that's being kept alive by his 56 year old wife despite advice from the health care professionals to "let him go". The man's Advanced Directive appointed her as his decision-maker should he ever become incapacitated.

StarTribune Article
Another StarTribune Article

I've read all the comments from readers, and the overwhelming majority are screaming for this man's death due to the COST of prolonging care. But then there are also shouts of Obamacare, Death Squads,  taxpayer dollars, accusations that the wife profits financially, that she would have pulled the plug long ago if it was her own money, ad nauseum.

This comment was my favorite, and is what I feel as well:

"I am shocked at the overwhelming opinion here that the doctors have a right to override a health care directive signed by the patient. It is true that the wife may be wasting taxpayer money, prolonging the inevitable, and refusing to listen to the opinions of medical professionals. It appears society has reached the point where death panels are a reality. Never mind what the patient wants or what family members want. If the taxpayers are paying for it, then we the people get to decide if you live or die.
posted by Brad57"

Here is the only pertinent fact, in my humble opinion:
This man WROTE DOWN what he wanted done if he couldn't decide for himself. He named his wife as his decision-maker. He trusted her to know what he would want. Now if his six sons, or the doctors, or ANYONE ELSE feel she's incapable of making these decisions,  there's a procedure through the courts for replacing her, which is apparently what's next. But until that happens, it's nobody's business except hers. 


One blogger (an ER physician who writes "funny stories" about the ER) actually put into print the not-to-be-named concept of Slow or One-Fingered Code. (A "code" is CPR.) So now you know:  actually, we've always had Death Squads. ER Stories


No, I would probably not be prolonging his life if I were in her place. But I'm not. I wasn't married to him, I never had the conversations with him that led to him assigning her his health care decision-maker.


If you're reading this, and now have a niggling worry that this could happen to you, good. You SAY you don't want to ever be "hooked up to machines". Well, there are machines, and there are machines. Dialysis is a machine. Did you just mean ventilator? Better specify! (Put simply, dialysis does for bad kidneys what insulin shots do for a bad pancreas.) Wording like "DO EVERYTHING as long as there's a chance" is clearly not specific enough.

Get an Advanced Care Directive in place before you need one. Get it notarized. Give copies to your lawyer, your children, and your primary physician. Heck, ALL your physicians. It just may protect you, unlike this poor man. The court will likely decide that the spouse is incompetent, and the doctors will get to pull the plugs. Since none of us can foresee exactly what the future holds, maybe this is what he would have wanted. Better have that "What IF...?" conversation with your loved ones now.