Alone again, for the first time.

Apologizing in advance for the blurry phone photos. My camera's in Mexico, and I haven't gotten the hang of this yet.

At the age of 21, I went straight from my parents' home to my first marriage. Seven years later, we separated and I moved to an apartment, but my toddler son was with me 1/2 the time. But I wasn't alone very long, because I met Ron two weeks after I moved there and we've been together ever since.

I'm alone now, for a three month stint as a travel nurse, and it's SO weird. To have lived 58 years in the close company of others and suddenly have:
NOBODY to talk to.
NOBODY to pick up after.
NOBODY to consider in my daily proceedings.
NOBODY to lean on or share the burdens. Or open jars.
No noise.

It's only been a week here in the apartment, and it's sterile-clean. Turns out I'm not a sloppy housekeeper after all. I find myself picking up a lint thing off the carpet, walking to the trash can under the kitchen sink, and disposing of it. And every night, I wash and put away my bowl, 2 spoons, coffee cup, and gin and tonic  glass.Who IS this person?

I'm talking to my two plants. I'd read somewhere they like that. Not that I consider myself a talker, as I have a high need for solitude, but I miss the option of having someone to talk to.

My Christmas Cactus.

SO quiet. Too quiet. Having worked daily since my arrival, the TV's only been on for the 2 hours in the evening before I go to bed. At home in Mexico, it's on whenever Ron's awake. CNN, sports, Military channel, History channel.

I'm eating badly. This week I'm plowing through a family-size Stouffer's Lasagna, alternating with an 8 piece fried chicken from the Safeway deli. That's all, except for a bowl of ice cream most evenings. Sometimes I fall asleep in my recliner and miss the ice cream part. (Ice cream wasn't possible at home in Mexico, too far from the store.)

Usually I'm in this recliner

Or here on my laptop

After five years living in a fifth wheel and a tiny casita crammed with furniture and gaudy decor, this spacious neutral-hued apartment takes some getting used to. It's awfully white. With brown, black, and beige for contrast. I bought a planter at a yard sale for $1. Big red ceramic swan. It had red-white-and-blue plastic flowers in it. Now it has a cactus (50 cents, next yard sale). Pretty much the only color in the whole apartment.

Don't you think I need a huge Johnny Depp poster on that white wall? Maybe this one?

I love the area! It's mountains and lakes and rivers, with pine trees and elk. The temperatures were a big change; 40s at night (or colder, snowed last night!) and 60s and 70s during the day. Smells piney, reminds me of Gin. You know, the juniper berry smell. There are elk right across the road from the clinic I work at, they wander down the slope mornings and browse around. Last Sunday I drove over to Show Low Lake and talked to a few locals there for a long time. It's stocked with rainbow trout, and also has walleyes and catfish. The top two state record walleyes came out of there: same angler, Gregg Munck, a local.

I'm going to LOVE the shopping here. There's a Big Lots, several Dollar stores,  WalMart, K-Mart,  four thrift stores, and garage/yard sales everywhere. For someone that doesn't like to pay retail, it's almost a mecca. Not that I have room for more stuff when I return to Mexico, but still...

The job is going to be OK. The manager's terrific, staff are nice, and the patients have been mostly welcoming, so far. Having to learn a new computer system is awful, but I'll get it. My feet and legs hurt after 10 hours standing, hence the recliner. Have also rediscovered the pleasure of soaking in a bathtub: it's been a long time.

So between work, fishing, shopping, and exploring these mountains, I'll be OK. Just kind of lonely.